Children are amazing at the amount of information they consume.  They are hungry to learn as their minds are open to possibilities.  Unburdened with fear, these youngsters have no prejudices and no hate.  They are full of love and want ways to express that love.  Adults teach children to be fearful.  Parents close out possibilities because of their fears that it might harm the child.  In schools, kids learn that there are differences in people and that these variances determine how we treat others.  As authentic individuals, we now have to help our children, our friends, and ourselves to unlearn these harmful ways of thinking and outdated belief systems. 

Part of our personal experiences as we were growing up, and in our early adulthood, can cause us to form self-sabotaging behaviors.  Self-defense mechanisms that our egoic mind thought was beneficial are now ways that keep us from growing.  Other beliefs that made sense to us based on our previous experiences are now outdated, based on what we have learned by living.  We realize that what our elders thought was the truth for them isn’t the truth for us.  We need to unlearn things as we grow.  The need to let go of belief systems that no longer serve us is how we move forward with our lives while maintaining a peaceful coexistence with those around us. 

We do not learn for the benefit of anyone. We learn to unlearn ignorance. ~ Michael Bassey Johnson

Realizing Our Outdated Beliefs

The indoctrination of our children by the systems that society has implemented to help them learn and grow into productive citizens doesn’t teach them how to unlearn the things they no longer believe as valid for them.  Many of us are afraid to release the ingrained belief systems of our parents because we want to trust that what they told us was the truth.  I’m not saying that our parents lied to us.  What we were told maybe what they truly believed to be the truth for them at one time.  But as adults, we have to take responsibility for our own belief system.  We need to evaluate what we were taught against what we are observing now. 

By the time I finished college, my awareness of social issues was limited.  I knew of a few unplanned pregnancies, one attempted suicide, and possibly one gay person.  Two decades later, my son was in a unique world, then the one I knew.  Through him, I became more aware, and my own world expanded.  This expansion caused me to deal with outdated belief systems as I was developing too.  These fresh ideas weren’t difficult to embrace, but it required me to unlearn and release how I was dealing with other people. 

The time we learn what to unlearn is the time we grow up. ~ Ishmeet Singh

Un-educating Ourselves

We all know someone who refuses to let go of outdated beliefs, despite showing them evidence to the contrary.  This stodgy person isn’t necessarily unwilling to change but may be afraid of the emotions behind the views.  There are all kinds of feelings tied to our belief system.  To unlearn these beliefs, we need to understand the frame of mind that they link to from our past. 

Most of the views we bring into adulthood have emotional ties to the past as they were learned through those adults that influenced us, parents, family, and teachers.  When I was very young, my dad was in the military.  We lived in the suburbs of Washington, D.C. I lived in a diverse community where my best friend was an African American.   So, when we moved to Western Pennsylvania, it astonished me that there were no black children in the school.     

My grandmother was a very loving, Christian woman who also was prejudice.  As I grew up, I would hear her whisper about the black couple that moved in two streets down.  I tried to ask her why their skin color mattered since we were all God’s children—red and yellow, black, and white. They are precious in His sight– was the song she used to sing to me when I was little.  This outdated thinking was something I think my grandmother tried to change. Still, when Alzheimer’s afflicted her, this outdated belief arose. 

Intelligence is what we learn. Wisdom is what we unlearn. ~ J.R. Rim

Seeing Our Conditioned Nature   

We acquire biases as we move through life—our families, friends, classrooms, co-workers, the media all influence us.  They arise from our preferences as well as our aversions.  We can unlearn the associations we have formed by changing our thoughts.  But we have to recognize the patterns, so we need to look within ourselves and become conscious of these outdated beliefs.   

First, you must label the thoughts you are having and then reflect on why you add a specific meaning to that thought.  For example, what are your thoughts when you see a person begging for money on the side of the road?  Do you get angry that they are blocking the way and you want to get home from a long day at work?  Do you reach for your wallet to help them get a meal, or are you afraid that they will buy a bottle of booze instead? 

Are any of these thoughts true?  We don’t know unless we take action by making a connection and getting to know the person.  One could give money with the idea that you tried to help, but they have their part to play.  However you perceive the situation, how you feel about the beggar has implications which may be inaccurate and may need to change.  Especially if you want to help people in a way that benefits them. 

Learning is an external act. Unlearning is an internal one. ~ Jack Uldrich

Creating Space for New Ideas

Unlearning is a powerful tool that enables us to create space to change the reality of the world into what we desire.  By abandoning obsolete ideas, we allow growth to occur in our lives.  This unlearning may be an uncomfortable process because the ego doesn’t like change. But change is neutral because we determine how we feel about the new circumstances. We can choose. 

When you are defensive of your position or are feeling ashamed or frustrated by the conversation, these are signs that you may need to deal with an outdated belief.  Or maybe you are angry and fearful because of the harm you are experiencing from an old belief system. 

Part of unlearning realizes that what we believed was false.  It isn’t true for us, which means we were wrong to trust it.  Yikes, we made a mistake- we failed.  Not really.  You only failed if you recognize the error in your thinking, and you don’t correct it.  By taking responsibility for your incorrect thinking and choosing to alter it, you learned from the circumstances.  This unlearning, the releasing of the old to accept the fresh line of thought, allows for personal and spiritual growth. 

In some sense, our ability to open the future will depend not on how well we learn anymore but on how well we can unlearn. ~ Alan Kay

Continued Unlearning

Breaking bad habits is a form of unlearning.  This habit-breaking is an example of a success you’ve had at unlearning.  It shows that you know how to release those contradictory thoughts in your mind and rewrite that portion of the software.  Your programing can be written, revised, and overridden many times, and it has.  Otherwise, you would do things like you used to do when you were in elementary school. 

We need to be evaluating the thoughts we have.  We need to test if our belief system is outdated.  As we recognize these patterns that no longer serve us, we can take responsibility to alter them.  This awareness is the unlearning process we must go through, and the sooner we do it, the better our lives become.  The more we implement it, the easier it becomes for us to release those things that impede our ability to see the endless possibilities in front of us. 

I don’t want to be like my grandmother, who was imprisoned by the beliefs of her youth.  Once a thought pattern is made that we reinforce with time, it becomes more difficult to reprogram.  What she learned was reinforced by others, which gave it more validity in her mind.  Continued awareness of the need to evaluate our thinking helps us to maintain a pattern of unlearning. 

You must unlearn what you have been programmed to believe since birth. That software no longer serves you if you want to live in a world where all things are possible. ~ Jacqueline E. Purcell

Moving Forward

We are continually learning, but are we unlearning those things that hold us back?  Are we evaluating new information and replacing our outdated beliefs?   The adults in our lives indoctrinate us from the time we arrive on the planet.  Many are lovingly trying to protect us but instill fear.  This fear is how the ego maintains control of the thought patterns we have.  As we move through life, these old beliefs no longer serve us. But we need to realize this so we can assess if our thoughts need to change.  

Once we recognize the need to alter the thought patterns, we can create space for fresh ideas to take shape.  But this process is never-ending.  As we move through our life, we need to continue the unlearning process, so we don’t get caught with an outdated belief system that is not true for us. 

The most useful piece of learning for the uses of life is to unlearn what is untrue. ~ Antisthenes

When you follow these steps consistently, you will notice you are continually growing.    As you become more conscious of your thought patterns and see the outdated beliefs, you can alter them to create a better life.  If you would like to receive more informative and mindful articles right into your mailbox, fill this out. 

Do you need support to help you unlearn an old belief system?  Do you want a strategy to help you overcome the ego’s limiting beliefs and live a successful life? If so, please, contact me, and we can put together an action plan for you to create the life you desire.

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Summary

Article Name

Welcome to the School of Unlearning

Description

We need to unlearn the outdated belief systems that many of us have inherited from past and current influences. This unlearning is vital for humanity.

Author

Terri Kozlowski

Publisher Name

Kozmic Soul Solutions LLC

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