Making excuses, we all do it.  We don’t have time to exercise.  It costs too much to eat healthily.  These explanations make us feel better for a short time, but it impedes our growth and keeps us from improving our lives.  The way to overcome clinging to excuses is to take responsibility, to empower yourself. 

Excuse makers tend to have a victim mentality.  They have a false belief that there’s nothing they can do to overcome the obstacle they perceive in their way.  When you’re the victim, you are powerless.  You’ve given your power to overcome to the excuse you are using that keeps you thinking small.  This unproductive mindset engages in self-pity at the expense of learning lessons from the situation. 

When you change your mindset, you can put your attention on finding solutions and growing a positive mental outlook.  This transformation moves you away from stagnation and propels you towards your desires.  Leave the victimization behind by asking yourself what you can do now to make things better. 

This new thought process is taking responsibility for yourself and the first step to empowerment.  By realizing that you may have contributed to the problem allows you to change how you react to a situation.  This new responsibility isn’t about blaming yourself for where you are. Blaming yourself or others keeps you playing the victim.  It’s about reclaiming your ability to change the current conditions. 

An excuse is nothing more than a self-imposed roadblock. ~ C.C. Chapman

Blaming and Fault Finding Disempowers

If we are blaming ourselves, then we are avoiding accepting ourselves the way we are.  This acceptance means that we acknowledge our flaws and still love ourselves despite them.  You are good enough and worthy of love exactly as you are, so is everyone else.  We are all perfect at making mistakes, so let’s forgive ourselves and one another and move forward together.  We need to reevaluate when we blame others, who may have played a significant role in the conditions of our life, what role did we play to create this situation. 

When a problem arises, especially at work, we want to know how the issue came into being.  We look for the reason or who’s at fault.  Who is responsible for the failure.  If you error, do you rise and take full responsibility?  You know it wasn’t your boss’s or your co-worker’s fault.  But to alleviate accountability away from you, do you give an excuse for the mistake?  Do you try explaining that the blunder occurred due to circumstances out of your control?

Blame and fault finding are ways that the ego uses to keep us disempowered by not accepting our role in the circumstances.  The ego likes to divert responsibility away from itself so that others don’t think less of us, especially in a work environment. 

A man can fail many times, but he isn’t a failure until he begins to blame somebody else. ~ John Burroughs

Why Do We Make Excuses?

There are several reasons the ego tries to protect us from taking responsibility for the conditions around us.  Usually, it’s to make us feel better. 

You’re afraid.  Fear keeps us in our comfort zone, where we feel safe.  But we can overcome this anxiety by venturing out and trying new things.  Somethings won’t go as planned, you may fail at it, but you learn that doing something new isn’t going to harm you.  Your mistakes are valuable, by embracing them, you learn from them.  They give you strength and build your character.  

You’re unfocused.  If you don’t have a goal and don’t know what to expect, it causes uncertainty.  This doubt is uncomfortable and causes our confidence to decline. We shouldn’t make assumptions or conclusions when we aren’t focusing on an outcome we are trying to achieve.  By knowing the goal, you can plan and move towards it with determination.  If you’re unfocused, then the destination is unknown, and you won’t go very far. 

You’re comparing.  When comparing yourself with others, we tend to concentrate on what is wrong with everyone, not what talents we all have.  In behaving this way, the ego tries to protect its identity, so you don’t feel bad for not being as talented in one area.  We’re all different with unique talents. Let’s be happy others on the team enhance our total performance. 

You’re skeptical.  When skepticism takes over the mind, we don’t believe we can make a change.  We think we lack time, money, education- whatever the excuse is.  The reality is that this unbelief is a lack of priorities.  It’s hard work to accomplish our desires, but all it takes is the decision to get started. 

Your excuses are just the lies your fears have sold you. ~ Robin Sharma

Why We Need to Stop Making Excuses

When people look over their lives as they age, they regret what they didn’t do.  Trying new ideas usually doesn’t lead to regret.  A lesson, maybe.  Excuses limit us, and all we try to accomplish.  Giving justifications for our limitations prevents us from learning and expanding to our fullest potential.  Growth, like all good things, comes through effort on our part.  We need to challenge ourselves to learn what we’re capable of achieving. 

If we are rationalizing why we can’t have our dreams, then we’ll never know what’s possible.  Were you meant to live a mediocre life?  Or are you to live a life of adventure and happiness?  Laziness leads to excuses.  Your justification keeps you from challenging yourself, which prevents you from changing.  Excuses help you live in mediocrity. 

If you don’t want your children to make excuses for their behavior, then you need to stop making them for yours.  As leaders, in the home and at work, we need to set the right example for others to take responsibility for their actions and their mistakes without making excuses.  Doing so is the way to be successful and confident individuals instead of being mediocre.  Making excuses is the habit of evading responsibility, and it’s a bad one. 

Do you find yourself making excuses when you do not perform? Shed excuses and face reality. Excuses are the loser’s way out. They will mar your credibility and stunt your personal growth. ~ Alexander Pope

Empowerment Comes Through Responsibility

If you are making excuses and avoiding responsibility, then you are surrendering control of your life and the goals you set.  By accepting personal responsibility for your actions transforms your life.  Doing so enables you to move towards your goals.  Why?  Because you are now empowered to be in control of the choices, good and bad.  The good move you forward quickly, the bad you learn from, which also moves you forward. 

This awareness that your purposeful actions are what determines your destiny is freeing.  It gives you a new perspective on what you can achieve.  Allowing you to see yourself in a new light, one that can see growth and unlimited potential.  It inspires you to shift your habits, and you hold yourself accountable to achieve the goals you set. 

Empowerment allows you to see your strengths and weaknesses more clearly and use them to your advantage.  As you grow over time, you learn to enhance your abilities easily, which reinvigorates your growth.  You now answer to yourself for what you do, your choices, your behaviors.  When you see something isn’t working for you, change it because you have the power to change.  When you say something unkind, you apologize, and little things don’t grow.  By taking responsibility, you are now in control of your happiness.   You soon realize that you, not fate, not luck, but you are in control of your life. 

The day you take complete responsibility for yourself, the day you stop making any excuses, that’s the day you start to the top. ~ O. J. Simpson

Releasing Excuses

The ego is a part of you and doesn’t like to give up its control, so here are some tips to help you release your excuses and stay responsible for your behaviors. 

When you realize that you’re focusing on negative emotions, pause and take a few deep breaths.  This silence allows the autonomic nervous system to calm us down so we can pivot our behavior to something better.  It also brings you into the present moment so that you can become mindful of your actions. 

Don’t take part in comparing, complaining, or gossiping.  Continuous negative talk about yourself, others, or a situation breeds excuses as the behavior engages us to become defensive.  You can change the thoughts or discussion to talk about the positive things, or you can leave the conversation, so you’re not expanding the pessimist action. 

Set clear intentions.  If you write down your goals, you will see success.  Being precise about what you want, you can consistently move in that direction.  Even if there are obstacles, you see them as challenges to overcome, not roadblocks.  You know that you’re empowered to overcome, to find a solution, and won’t be stuck permanently.  This bump is a learning opportunity. 

Understand that the ego wants to maintain your fearful state, thereby keeping you small.  But by gaining more information, perspective, and experience, we can learn to release the fear and thus release the excuses the ego uses. 

Building Alternative Behaviors

When you’re comparing yourself with others, get a piece of paper, and make a list of your strengths.  This refocusing allows your mind to move towards results instead of making you feel bad.  You can change your attitude or your emotions. You just need to decide to do so. 

When you’re facing the unknown, make a list of opportunities that are now available.  Don’t assume that this unfamiliar will result in a negative outcome.  By meeting the unknown as an adventure, we open up ourselves to endless possibilities.  Remember that you have already have had success in your past, so believe in yourself that you can do it again because you can.

Take ownership of your choices and reactions to the circumstances of your life.  No one is responsible but you for them, so no blaming, even yourself.  If you make a mistake, and you will choose to correct it and learn from it.  Remember that you’re empowered to make the changes you want in your life, and therefore, you’re responsible. 

Set your goals and take action towards them each day.  It may mean you have to take a risk, try something new.  But living life is an action step, and we need to move forward deliberately.  Track your steps and accomplishments along the way so you can build confidence in your abilities, so you can visualize you successfully completing the intentions you set. 

Instead of excuses, take action; you’ll be surprised how often you accomplish what you thought was difficult. ~ Byron Pulsifer

Moving Forward

Making excuses is a habit that can be changed.  Can you see why you’re justifying your behavior?  Becoming aware of why we rationalize our conduct is the first step in dealing with this bad habit.  Take responsibility for our choices and the responses as this allow us to make changes we want in our lives.  We need to open ourselves up to new opportunities so we can create a clear vision for our future.  We all want to fulfill our potential instead of living a mediocre life.  But you can’t create what you desire by clinging to your excuses.  You have to take a risk. You have to take action to release the life you dream of living. 

Put all excuses aside and remember this: YOU are capable. ~ Zig Ziglar

As you become more conscious of the excuses you cling to and become aware of your reasonability, you can change your life.  If you would like to receive more informative and mindful articles right into your mailbox, fill this out. 

Do you need support to release the excuses?  Do you want a strategy to help you overcome the ego’s limiting beliefs and live authentically? If so, please, contact me, and we can put together an action plan for you to create the life you desire.

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How to be Responsible and Not Cling to Excuses

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Making excuses is avoiding your responsibility. Learn how to release the habit of making excuses and take responsibility for your life.

Author

Terri Kozlowski

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Kozmic Soul Solutions LLC

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