Being in love and genuinely loving are two separate things.  Being enamored is about the euphoric feeling, which is a result of chemistry.  Truly loving another person is about a deep connection.  This bond has the ability for both parties to be vulnerable and available to one another while being empathetic.  This relationship with another can only occur when love is present. 

We think that when you dislike or even hate another for causing us trauma in our lives that we’re connecting to them.  The ego creates this linking in our minds based on fear.  Being afraid keeps us from authentic ties with other people.  The only way we can genuinely join with another person is through love. 

Only through the eyes of love, can we see the true essence of another person.  This type of affection embraces a universal, unconditional devotion that transcends and persists regardless of circumstance.  It extends, fills, inspires, protects, and nurtures.  This love sees no prejudices, or hierarchies, only the Divine in another.  This feeling makes each of us whole and removes any ideas that we are separate from one another, and sees us all as equals. 

Without this type of affection, we live as lonely beings, unconnected to anyone, including family and friends. This loneliness is why we need love for authentic bonds to be made with others for us to live fulfilling lives. 

We all are so deeply interconnected; we have no option but to love all. Be kind and do good for anyone, and that will be reflected. The ripples of the kind heart are the highest blessings of the Universe. ~  Amit Ray

What is an Authentic Loving Connection?

Some people describe a loving connection as an intimate tie that feels magical.  People have a hard time explaining the way this type of feeling transcends what they can put into words. 

The conversations that occur when this loving bond exists is one of complete honesty.  Each party knows that the other is empathically listening to the other and genuinely hearing what’s said. There is complete openness to communication, and these conversations are deeply meaningful to both parties. 

Each person feels mutual respect for the other and knows that it’s reciprocated.  They are both grateful for the relationship and sense unconditional love from one another.  There is a sense that a real authentic interaction is taking place. 

Despite the strong link that exists between these people, they both understand that they are each autonomous.  They both realize that each of them needs to be independent to be their authentic selves and that their bond helps them to grow in that autonomy. 

Our souls speak a language that is beyond human understanding. A connection so rare the universe won’t let us part. ~ Nikki Rowe

Learn How to Connect Lovingly

 So, how does one open themselves up to having this deep loving bond with another person?  It’s not complicated, and we can have them with many people in our lives.  The tie isn’t about chemistry. It’s about the emotional, social, and thought processes we can share with another.  It does require time and a bit of effort on both parties to establish the link. 

Eye contact is a simple thing you can do to increase your connection with others.  By looking at another person in the eye, you are letting them know that you see them and acknowledge their being.  That one little thing validates them.  That is why so many homeless people want others to acknowledge their presence as an act of dignity.   Eye contact is the first way we show another that we see them as they are and that we lovingly accept them. 

Spend quality time with one another.  Some of this time should include fun-times where you are laughing and enjoying one another’s company.  Other times you need to have meaningful conversations to help each of you learn more about the other.  You need to be open and honest as you communicate your feelings to help allow the bond to deepen.

Finally, you need to be able to forgive one another for the hurts and misunderstanding that inevitably will occur.  Holding a grudge is not a loving act; it’s an act of fear which allows separation to creep into the relationship.  So, forgive and do it quickly to enable the reconnection. 

I believe that two people are connected at the heart, and it doesn’t matter what you do or who you are or where you live; there are no boundaries or barriers. ~ Julia Roberts

Open Yourself to Receiving Love from Others

You have many people that enter your life for many different reasons.  Some of these people are to help you on your journey, and some you are to support.  You need to be open to those relationships where you are the one in the act of service. 

We’ve all experienced someone reaching out to us for friendship or assistance.  How are we responding?  Are we pushing them away, or are we choosing to respond with warmth?  By consciously deciding to respond with love, we open up the opportunity for more connections with others. 

Even these bonds with those that we are to help in some way, benefit us in the long term.  They help us to see others through the lens of tenderness instead of the lens of fear.  This alone benefits us as it allows us the practice we need to see everyone as Divine beings. 

Sometimes the encounter can often bring many life changes for both of you. Perhaps, meeting this person turns your life around in a dramatic way as you discover and explore.  Besides, you never know how any of the relationships that the Universe brings to you will work out.  Maybe your soulmate is the person you help through a rough patch. 

Upon first glance, I felt a sense of familiarity with you. Like we had been down this road a thousand times before, why I felt this with a complete stranger I am yet to know, but I trust further down the road our chance meeting will make perfect sense. ~  Nikki Rowe

True Love Allows Separation

Dependency on another person is unhealthy.  Therefore, autonomy is an attribute of a loving connection.  Let’s look at the loving bond you have with your child.  You want your child to grow up and become independent.  To live their lives separate from yours, to grow, love, make a happy life for themselves.  This independence is the separation that a loving tie allows and encourages. 

Another way of looking at this independence is what I call my alone time.  We all need time with just ourselves as part of our self-care.   If someone continually wants our time, this isn’t good for them nor us, no matter how much we adore the other person.  There needs to be a balance between togetherness and time that we can be alone with our thoughts. 

We may need to set some personal boundaries to allow the relationship to grow appropriately.  Limits need set with love.  They protect both parties from taking advantage of one another as the link matures. 

Ultimately we all want to be independent from others, and in a loving connection, this autonomy is part of the bond.  We know that we are linked and that our self-sufficiency is an essential part of our relationship.

In close relationships, it is not healthy to have too much “us” to the point that the “I” is lost. ~ Ronit Baras

The Obstacle to Loving Connections

The only obstacle to loving relationships is your ego.  The ego wants to protect you and strangers, or people you don’t know, and the ego finds dangerous.  As part of its survival instinct, the ego is the barrier to making loving connections.

Now, since we all want to be loved and belong, why would we put up a block to what we desire?  It could be that in the past, someone hurt us, so the ego is trying to prevent that from happening again.  It could be that we are shy, which is another way the ego keeps us from reaching out and forming loving bonds.

Maybe as you get to know a person, old pains or fears are stirring up through forming this relationship. The ego will want you to end this association, but you need to be open to why the Universe put this person in your life.  Perhaps, these things from your past are now ready to be released, and this person will help you do so. 

You are stronger than your ego.  Therefore you can decide that the people the Universe brings into your life have a purpose, so you can choose to disregard the ego’s fears and love them.  Love is the best way to overcome all the fear in your life.

Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence. ~ Erich Fromm

Forgiving Permits Loving Connections

Letting go of resentments and hostility can make way for improved health and peace of mind. Forgiveness leads to tender bonds with others.  We all offend those we love, even unintentionally; therefore, we all need to be willing to forgive one another. 

Forgiveness produces healthier relationships overall, even if it isn’t with the person who offended you.  Holding onto the anger over time can be released on someone who doesn’t deserve it because they remind you of someone who hurt you.  This deflection is a way that a wound from one relationship sneaks into other associations. 

Forgiving someone improves self-esteem.  The ability to release the negativity of the past improves your being.  It enables peace to enter your life and more positive energy to rise from within your being.  You can now create more lasting and authentic connections with those you that come into your life.

You can never love without forgiving. Forgiveness deepens your ability to love and frees you from pain. ~ Kemi Sogunle

Moving Forward

We all desire to have authentic relationships with those in our lives.  We also want to make new and lasting connections with others.  We can only make these genuine links through love.  Affection is the lens that we need to view others through.  Love is how these ties need to be made if they are to be authentic and lasting. 

This process isn’t complicated, but it takes us to make a conscious decision and work towards creating those bonds.  Choose love.  Decide to make the ties with those in your life stronger.  Choose to establish new authentic connections with people you meet.  It benefits your health, your happiness, and your overall experience, and theirs too. 

A true soul connection is very rare and very real. ~Hilary Duff

As you decide to create loving connections with others and become conscious about your mindset, you can alter the course of your life.   To receive more enlightening articles right into your email, fill this out now.

Do you need help becoming aware of your mindset?  Do you need support in making authentic and loving connections with others?  Do you want a strategy to help you create a remarkable life?  If so, please contact me, and we can put together an action plan for you to be authentically you and for you to know that you are enough.

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