A lot has happened to each of us in our lives.  When we look back at our past, whether you’ve experienced trauma or not, what occurred has impacted us.  How these incidents have influenced our lives depends on how we responded to the events.   We’re not what happens to us.  Based on how we react to our experiences determines what we choose to become.  We have a say in how the events of our lives affect us.

How we respond to the happenings of our life depends on our mindsets and our belief system.  If we have a growth mindset, we look for the lesson we are to learn from the situation and a way to overcome whatever obstacle is in our way.  But through a fixed mindset, we tend to see this circumstance as proof of our continued failures. See the difference?  How we perceive the situation determines if it pushes us forward or keeps us stagnate.  But we are in control of our perceptions.  We can choose to reframe the story to one that raises us to become what we want.  Because, right now, we can choose to change. 

We attain freedom as we let go of whatever does not reflect our magnificence. A bird cannot fly high or far with a stone tied to its back. But release the impediment, and we are free to soar to unprecedented heights. ~ Alan Cohen

Perspective is the Interpretation of Events

It’s incredible how, in a family with many children, each one interprets the same event completely different from their siblings.  The youngest child might see the situation and determine that the family didn’t love them.  Another child decides that they are stupid for not understanding what was happening around them.  A third sibling sees the event and concludes that they are unimportant to the family dynamics.  And a fourth child moves through the circumstances unscathed because they didn’t attribute any meaning to the event.  We each choose to interpret and add meaning to what happens to us. 

Unlike children, adults are empowered to make changes to there life circumstances.  We can use the events of our lives as signals for transformation.  The world is sending us messages that tell us what we should do and who we should be.  But our ability to interpret the situation and choose our perspective is the key to reframing our lives.   We cannot change the past, but our past doesn’t define who we are.  Out history enables us to become who we want to be. 

Most people think happiness is about gaining something, but it’s not. It’s all about getting rid of the darkness you accumulate.  ~ Carolyn Crane

Reframing My Childhood Trauma

Yes, I am a survivor of childhood trauma.  I wouldn’t have chosen this path for my life, but I can still determine my destiny as I move forward.  The abandonment and sexual abuse of my past are never going to go away.  Those facts cannot be changed.  The lessons I’ve learned from the experiences I can take with me as I go, and I can use the fact that I have overcome my fears as proof of my strength, my worthiness, and my growth. 

In my upcoming book about transcending fear, I go in-depth about the struggles I had to face.  The shame I imposed upon myself.  The unorthodox way I replaced my cruel mother.  My angst with alcohol.  Regardless of my internal battles,  I was able to become the strong, independent woman I was supposed to be despite the traumatic experiences. 

I don’t allow my past to interfere with the present.  I don’t hate others, including my mother.  The world can be challenging to live in, but I enjoy each day.  I regained my faith in people, and I learned that love is the answer to every question I’ve ever asked. 

Your strength doesn’t come from winning. It comes from struggles and hardships. Everything that you go through prepares you for the next level. ~ Germany Kent

Becoming Authentically You

Regardless of your past, you have the choice to become your authentic self.  Since you are still here in this Earth school, you have survived your own history.   As a survivor, you have proof of your strength and endurance.  Despite the ways fear disguises itself, you have fought through your own struggles and are still moving forward. 

For me to become myself, I had to look back at who I was before the traumatic events of my childhood.  I had to remember who I was, and more importantly, I had to accept myself as I was before I could do the work to become who I wanted to be.

I had to recognize my bad behaviors before I could alter them.  I needed to release blame, of others, and myself.  I struggled with letting go of the excuses that I clinged to, which kept me locked in a prison of my own suffering thoughts.  I realized that my perfectionism blocked me from becoming my authentic self, and it too had to be released.  Each of these awakenings was important for me so that I could take responsibility for the choices I made along my path to recovering myself. 

It is less about becoming a better person, and more of being better, as a person. ~ J.R. Rim

Taking Responsibility for Becoming

We each have the responsibility for our responses to the events we find ourselves.  Which part of the circumstances do we focus on, the positive or the negative?  Do we allow ourselves to be swept away on the wave of our emotions when a situation doesn’t go as planned?  We must be accountable for how we react to what’s happening in our lives.  Somewhere along the way, we made decisions that brought us to this point in time.  Only when we recognize the part we played can we then determine the next course of action that we need to take. 

To become the person we desire to be, we have to be aware of our choices.  We need to awaken to how we presently feel and determine whether or not we react emotionally to the circumstances.  Or, do we pause, step back, and look at the big picture. By doing so, we are not allowing our past to determine our future.  

Accountability can be a scary prospect.  Knowing that success or a misstep is your responsibility can also be freeing as it shows you’re determining your own fate.  Facing this challenge is what makes humanity passionate about their endeavors.  It allows us to move towards our dreams with the knowledge that we are what’s needed to make them come true.   All we need to do is take one step forward towards our becoming who we choose to be.

Success means having the courage, the determination, and the will to become the person you believe you were meant to be.  ~ George A. Sheehan

Moving Forward

We are not what happened to us.  Our past doesn’t establish who we are.  It’s a personal history all our own—facts of events that occurred.  We determine how we interpret and add meaning to the experiences of our lives.  I was able to reframe the story of my traumatic childhood into one of survivorship.  A story that enabled me to determine who I was, not based on what happened to me.  Despite my history, I blossomed into my authentic self, and you can too. 

By becoming aware of how you react to current circumstances, you can learn to change your mindset and learn to respond with clarity.  In taking responsibility for your choices as well as the consequences for your actions, you can begin to move forward and reach your goals. 

Confront the dark parts of yourself and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing.  ~ August Wilson

As you become more conscious of how much your past affects your present, you can learn to reframe your history.  If you would like to receive more informative and mindful articles right into your mailbox, fill this out. 

Do you need support to help you reframe your past?  Do you want a strategy to help you overcome the ego’s limiting beliefs and live a successful life? If so, please, contact me, and we can put together an action plan for you to create the life you desire.

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Summary

Article Name

I’m Not What Happened to Me; I’m What I Choose to Become

Description

My past, what happened to me, isn't who I am. I am what I choose to become despite the events of my life. I choose to become my authentic self.

Author

Terri Kozlowski

Publisher Name

Kozmic Soul Solutions LLC

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