You accumulate memories as you age. Some of those are fond memories, the magnificent gems that you return to and visit, like the birth of a child. While others bother you like a leaky faucet in the middle of the night. Plunk. Plunk. Plunk. It’s eerily annoying and difficult to turn it off at three in the morning.

How then do we repair the faucet? You can train the mind into cherishing only a select few lovely thoughts while banishing others to a forgotten dungeon if you practice the art of selection. According to science, emotions both etch memories into the brain and distort it. What are you to do with all the oddly shaped puzzle pieces that make up your existence?

In his famous quote, Pablo Neruda said, “Life is so short, but forgetting is so long.”  In fact, I disagree with the well-known poet.  I believe you can train your mind to let go of unwanted memories and thoughts.  Positive memories, if treated like fine foods, can serve as a reminder of the goodness in life. These are the memories that spur you on to continue living and to thrive.

It doesn’t matter what you did in the past, you can’t change it. The best you can do about your past is to be nostalgic with your family and loved ones about happy memories. ~  Zoe McKey

The Science of Memories

The positive emotions and improved wellbeing that come from thinking of happy memories point to a potential adaptive function for stress-reduction. In two experiments, researchers looked at whether it might reduce the stress response by recalling autobiographical memories with a positive content, or remembering the good times.

Following an acute stressor, they asked participants to recall an autobiographical memory that was positive. In all experiments, recalling only pleasant memories had a slowed cortisol surge and a diminished negative effect. Furthermore, despite experiencing stress, those with higher levels of self-reported resiliency displayed improved mood.

The circuits within the brain previously associated with reward processing and emotional mastery were active during happy memories, and positivity was associated with increased connectivity in the prefrontal cortex. Faced with stress, the findings show the restoring and safeguarding effects of self-generated pleasant emotions via memory recall.

Imagination has a great potential to improve your memory. It allows traveling beyond the horizon, attaching various stories or images to the things you wish to remember, in turn, it will strengthen your memory. ~ William D

Use Your Fond Memories for Stress Management

Although you’ve had both positive and negative experiences in your life, it’s true that your memories can play a significant impact on how you manage your stress. Which experiences are you letting the ego play back in your mind? Are you concentrating on the fond or the painful memories? While I’m not advocating that you try to forget your unpleasant memories, you can use the power of optimism to reduce your anxiety when thinking back on any memory.

There are three stages of memory. First is the actual knowledge—the firsthand experience. The second step is the storing of the data. The third stage is recalling the memory back. You can either raise or lower your stress level since the memories you retrieve and relive are prone to distortion by the ego.

You typically recall less information about enjoyable events compared to unpleasant ones. Additionally, you have a propensity to recall and reconstruct your emotional past in a manner consistent with your feelings right now. And this affects both how you remember your experiences and how stressed you feel when thinking about them.

Put a positive spin on a negative situation—a process known as cognitive reappraisal—in order to improve emotional memory accuracy while also reducing their negative undertones. Putting a positive perspective on a situation not only helps with stress management and stress reduction, but it can also improve memory.

To eke out the most happiness from an experience, we must anticipate it, savor it as it unfolds, express happiness, and recall a happy memory. ~ Gretchen Rubin

Tips for Creating Fond Memories

Consider yourself a “reservoir of happiness” and use nostalgia as a sort of self-care. You can combat unpleasant emotions like anxiety, loneliness, and meaninglessness by going back to happy times. According to research, the ability to recall pleasant moments predicts how pleased you are right now.

Consequently, how can you fill this reservoir? It requires more than just having great experiences and hoping they stick around to create joyful memories. You can use the patterns that memories follow to become a memory architect and have control over what you and those around you will and won’t recall. Here are some suggestions for creating and preserving happy memories.

1. Concentrate

Being conscious while you are joyful is the simplest way to create a fond memory. Occasionally, you may be too preoccupied to really appreciate a positive encounter. The building blocks of memory are attention and awareness. Therefore, work on cultivating an awareness of the experiences you want to remember. If you experience one, attempt to mentally capture what is happening at the moment and carry that information with you.

2. Create “Episodic” Memories Using Your Senses

Don’t just focus on how something looks when creating a mental photo; also note how it sounds and smells. Because not all long-term memories are created equal, this is significant. Knowing that Paris is the capital of France is a semantic memory. Your remembrance of your vacation to Paris is an episodic memory. The feeling of the grass on the Champs de Mars, the aroma of the cheese you brought along for a picnic, and the taste of fuel in the air are all included in this image rather than just a picture of the Eiffel tower. Though important, semantic memory is not something you can actually refer to. Episodic memories are the ones that let you travel because they are richer and more vivid.

3. Try a Novel Approach to Fond Memory Creation

Memory is not the benefit of going with the tried, tested, and true way of doing things. First-time events stick in your memory considerably better than routine activities do. In order to build lasting memories, it’s a good idea to seek new experiences. This doesn’t imply that every time you want to make a memory, travel to far-off places or engage in novel activities. Using a new item in your cooking or tasting a dish you’ve never tried can have the same impact.

4. Integrate Fond Memory Triggers

Your memory is association-based. When you hear something, smell something, or see something, it makes you think of other things. As a result, you need to incorporate memory triggers and anchors into your daily routine. Making keepsakes out of commonplace items is only one example of how to achieve this. Mnemonics can be woven into your life by renaming locations after memorable personal events that occurred there or by creating your own festivities around historic occasions. Organizing a “Moon Landing picnic” on July 20th, for instance, will help you remember your pleasant experience whenever the moon landing is mentioned.

5. Uses Emotions to Highlight Memories

You can recall emotional events. Things are unforgettable because of all the emotions, not just enjoyable ones. By doing things outside of your comfort zone, you can take advantage of this reality about human psychology and increase the likelihood that your actions will be remembered. Even though most individuals avoid uncomfortable or unpleasant circumstances, adding a little discomfort to your experiences might enhance their lasting power. Do you find public speaking intimidating? If you force yourself to do it anyhow, you’ll almost certainly remember the experience. You want someone to remember what you said? Tell them at the top of the roller coaster.

6. Reflect Frequently on Fond Memories

Memories aren’t kept in perfect shape in some intangible brain vault once you have stored them. They require periodic dusting, just like souvenirs do. Reliving events can keep memories fresh and prevent them from fading. Similar to a muscle, your memory gets stronger the more you use it, increasing the likelihood that you will store there permanently the information. Therefore, don’t worry about being caught up in nostalgia; you’re just taking care of your store of joyful memories. You can guarantee that wonderful memories are available when you need them by building and maintaining a bank of them.

The most beautiful things are not associated with money; they are memories and moments. If you don’t celebrate those, they can pass you by. ~ Alek Wek

Moving Forward With Fond Memories

The treasury and protector of everything is memory. As long as you remember, nothing is ever truly lost to you. Sometimes you won’t understand the importance of a moment until it is remembered. Enjoy your happy memories. However, don’t waste your remaining time in this place gazing back and yearning for “the good old days.” 

Genuinely splendid memories endure forever. You’re more likely to indulge in nostalgic behavior when you’re depressed, lonely, or feeling purposeless. It serves as a coping mechanism for feeling down. If this describes you, think back to a fond memory trigger and remember your first kiss or an exciting vacation. Try to recall the sound, smell, and sensation. You’ll feel better, and maybe this will even remind you how to replicate what you’re currently lacking.

The greatest joys of life are happy memories. Your job is to create as many of them as possible. ~ Brian Tracy

Do you need help to manage stress? Are you looking for a way to create more fond memories in your life? Do you want to create a life of your dreams? If so, please reach out to me at TerriKozlowski.com and we can create a plan for you to have less stress and more happiness in your life.

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Creating and Using Fond Memories for Less Stress and More Happiness

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Six ways to consciously create fond memories to help deal with stress and create more happiness in your life.

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Terri Kozlowski

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Kozmic Soul Solutions LLC

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