Although you may not always fully understand textbook confidence, you can recognize it when you see it. you know it because you feel it, and you know what it feels like to be around it. This is one reason the definition of confidence can be so hard to pin down. In reality, confidence is a feeling that you have for other people as well as for yourself.

When you don’t feel it, you also know it. When someone is insecure—or, even more telling, when someone is acting confident—you observe not just their lack of confidence but also their clumsy attempts to make up for it.

It’s interesting to note that you frequently experience a lack of confidence when you are around someone who lacks confidence. You find it difficult to connect naturally, you start doubting the things you say and do, and you start to feel uncomfortable, unsure, and disengaged. Which, when you stop to think about it, is rather fascinating.

Let me explain what I mean by confidence.  Confidence is not boasting, or showing off, or an overt pretense of courage. Confidence is not some bold or brash air of self-belief directed at others.  Confidence is quiet.  It is a natural expression of ability, expertise, and self-regard.  

Believe you can and you’re halfway there. ~ Theodore Roosevelt

Why Is Confidence Important?

It’s a really good question. Confidence matters, although it may seem painfully obvious to those who are already inspired to work at it—for four main reasons.

1. Success and excellence are amplified by confidence.

Despite what many self-help experts believe, confidence is not a substitute for authenticity, depth, or quality. It shouldn’t be used as a means to an end in and of itself, and it can never take the place of good old-fashioned labor. Even the most self-assured individuals require confidence in one area or another—their identities, their careers, or themselves—and confidence separated from authentic content will eventually crumble.

2. Leadership and influence require confidence.

As you just saw, both what you do and how you do it determine how successful your professional lives are. Your work involves technical expertise. Your level of confidence influences how you proceed. Furthermore, your level of impact and the caliber of your leadership are two of the most crucial components of that method. True confidence is necessary for the influence you have on your partners, the impact you have on your work outputs, and the control you have over your organizations. These self-assured abilities set technicians apart from managers, staff members from executives, and artists from craftspeople.

3. Style alone does not equate to confidence. It also has to do with content.

Remember that close relationships between substance and confidence. A lack of faith in an ordinary person can always be difficult, but a lack of faith in a genuinely capable person can be detrimental. Why? Because a discrepancy between your degree of confidence and the caliber of your job might make the deficit worse. Even while your work is performing well, its success will ultimately draw attention to your insecurities even more. Simultaneously, your partners and colleagues will be even more disappointed if you fail to exhibit the level of confidence that befits the caliber of your job.

4. Self-assurance keeps us safe.

One of the most powerful tools you can equip yourself within a world that is becoming more intricate and competitive is confidence. However, because it makes you appear extremely vulnerable to others, a lack of confidence is also one of your biggest weaknesses. You’re going to get further into some of the highly noticeable ways that confidence shows up, including your body language, vocal intonation, verbal clues, and micro-decisions. You are unable to hide your feelings about yourself, despite your best efforts. Weaknesses are visible to everyone you meet. You see your lack of confidence as a badge that you wear, and it unintentionally communicates to others how you should be treated.

If you have no confidence in yourself, you are twice defeated in the race of life. With confidence, you have won even before you have started. ~ Cicero

Qualities of Confident People

It comes as no surprise that all great leaders share these nine qualities concerning confidence.

1. Take a stand because they are not afraid to be wrong. 

Conceited people tend to take a position and then proclaim, bluster, and disregard differing opinions or points of view. They just know that they are right.  Truly confident people don’t mind being proven wrong. They want you to convince them.  They believe finding out what is right is a lot more important than being right. And when they’re wrong, they’re secure enough to back down graciously. Truly confident people often admit they’re wrong or don’t have all the answers.

2. Listen ten times more than they speak.  

Bragging is a mask for insecurity. Truly confident people are quiet and unassuming. They already know what they think; they want to know what you think.  So, they ask open-ended questions that give other people the freedom to be thoughtful and introspective. Truly confident people realize they know a lot, but they wish they knew more… and they know the only way to learn more is to listen more.

3. Shine the spotlight on others.  

Perhaps it’s true they did a lot of the work, overcame obstacles, and turned a collection of individuals into a high-performance team.  Truly confident people don’t need the glory; they know what they’ve achieved.  They don’t need the validation of others, because true validation comes from within.  So, they stand back and celebrate their accomplishments through others. They stand back and let others shine – a confidence boost that helps those people on the team become truly confident, too.

4. Ask for help.  

Many people feel asking for help is a sign of weakness; implicit in the request is a lack of knowledge, skill, or experience.  Confident people are secure enough to admit a weakness or lack of knowledge. So, they often ask others for help, not only because they are secure enough to admit they need help but also because they know that when they seek help they pay the person they ask a huge compliment.  Saying, “Can you help me?” shows tremendous respect for that individual’s expertise and judgment. Otherwise, they wouldn’t ask.

Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit.  ~ E.E. Cummings

5. Think, “Why not me?”  

Many people feel they have to wait: to be promoted, to be selected, to be chosen… like the old Hollywood cliché, to somehow be discovered.  Truly confident people know that access is almost universal. They know they build their relationships and networks and choose their path – they can choose to follow whatever course they wish.  And very quietly, without calling attention to themselves, they go out and do it.

6. Don’t put other people down.  

Generally speaking, the people who like to gossip and speak badly of others do so because they hope by comparison to make themselves look better.  The only comparison a truly confident person makes is to the person they were yesterday – and to the person they hope to become tomorrow.

7. Aren’t afraid to look silly.  

Running around in public wearing costumes or pajamas can be done when truly confident and oddly enough, people tend to respect you more when you do – not less.  It shows that you can laugh at yourself …be silly and have FUN!  It shows that you are approachable and you love life.  

8. Own their mistakes.  

Insecurity tends to breed artificiality.  Confidence breeds sincerity and honesty.  That’s why truly confident people take responsibility for their mistakes without blame or excuses. When you’re truly confident, you don’t mind occasionally “looking bad.” You realize that when you’re authentic and unpretentious, people don’t laugh at you…they laugh with you.  

9. Seek approval only from the people who matter. 

When you earn the trust and respect, no matter where you go or what you try, of the few people in your life that truly matter, you do it with true confidence – because you know the people who truly matter the most are supporting you.  These few usually also display these nine qualities as confident people attract other confident people.  

To overcome fear is the quickest way to gain your self-confidence. ~ Roy T. Bennett

Moving Forward With Confidence

These nine qualities are the building blocks to true confidence.  When you look at those leaders that you admire you will see them reflected.  They are building others up while listening to what they have to say.  They are admitting to the mistakes that they have made and telling you what they learned from them.  In exhibiting these qualities, they build better teams and help those they come in contact with.

The secret to self-confidence isn’t to stop caring what people think and to start caring about what you think. It’s to make your opinion of yourself more important than anyone else’s.

Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her. ~ Lao Tzu

Are you confident as a leader?  Do others see you as someone who always has to be right or as a confident leader? Are you displaying all nine of these attributes? Where do you need to improve?  If you want some help developing some techniques to become a confident person, please contact me at TerriKozlowski.com, or sign up for my newsletter, I would be happy to help you build and project true confidence.  

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Article Name

Discover How To Strengthen Your Confidence By Being Authentic

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The 9 qualities of true confidence as a natural expression of ability, expertise, and self-regard -learn how you can implement into your life. Be confident.

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Terri Kozlowski

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Kozmic Soul Solutions LLC

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