No practice is more potent or profound than surrender, which sits at the center of all spiritual paths. But what exactly does surrender mean? Too frequently, surrender is misinterpreted, reduced to a few affirmations about letting go, and then misapplied as a self-help guideline. However, because of your misunderstandings and attempts to practice surrender using your thoughts, you deprive it of the genuine mystery that it is.

What surrender IS NOT: Failure or defeat, punishment, a choice to let go, a work you can complete with your mind, a state you can will yourself into, a choice to be at ease with what is, an end, or a negative outcome.

Every one of us eventually faces a situation that shakes the basis of who you are and what you believe you can handle—something that pushes you over your breaking point. This is what surrender IS. Sometimes it’s a problem you’ve dealt with for a while, and other times it’s an unexpected incident that overwhelms you and renders your typical coping mechanisms useless. These encounters may have different content, but they all can literally and frequently metaphorically bring you to your knees. And it has the capacity to transform you.

The moment of surrender is not when life is over, it’s when it begins. ~ Marianne Williamson

Are You Fighting Life?

I held a firm belief in the value of fighting. Battling for what matters to you. Fighting for something or someone you love. Putting up a fight for your objectives, dreams, and desires. I thought the courage to struggle separates those who succeed from those who fail because they are giving everything they have.

I discovered there’s a catch. In particular, sometimes surrender will get you closer to your objectives than battling will. You aren’t automatically entitled to something just because you want it. No matter how often you tell yourself it’s meant to be or how much you believe you deserve it.

Your perspective and knowledge of the world are far too restricted to recognize the unchanging truth or foretell your own course. You can’t always influence your circumstances by applying your restricted egoic thinking and the coping mechanisms you’ve developed. So, not everything will turn out the way you expect it to and life is far bigger than you can imagine.

The process of wanting has its origins in the ego and can be wholly out of sync with your soul’s endless possibilities and what life has in store for you.  You grip something, but the more you struggle, the farther away it actually moves. And while you’re trying, you cannot recognize how you’re killing some of the lovely things in your immediate environment. You only begin to attract the things you’ve been after when you let go of your wants, calm down, and give it some time.

Sometimes, it’s not the times you decide to fight, but the times you decide to surrender, that makes all the difference. ~ Sissy Gavrilaki

The Discipline Of Surrender Vs Control

You want to gain control since life in your world is unstable, uncertain, and continuously changing. So you build your entire life and identity around these constructs. You attempt to manage your life’s unpredictable, always-changing environment. And it is ineffective. Because of this, you become worried, put things off, feel upset, become depressed or anxious, snap at people, or complain.

I want to introduce the discipline of surrendering. It’s the notion of letting go of parts of your ego and impulses in order to regain a connection to the Universe instead of tensing up or resisting the ambiguity and fluidity of life. When you surrender, you let the changing surroundings ease you. You stop attempting to control things and smile at the fantastic way the world is.

For many, surrender sounds silly or even terrifying. It goes against everything you are trying to do, as you are constantly looking for control. You have routines, timetables, and systems because you want to manage your life.

Everything about this is fine. Except that attempting to control the uncontrollable is a little pointless. Control, while perfectly logical, is a tactic that doesn’t truly work. What results does it produce?

Continually attempting to gain control is driven by the apprehension you may feel lost, dejected, and unhappy with the world and yourself. Most of the time, it’s more beneficial to change the emphasis from control to love.

If you surrender completely to the moments as they pass, you live more richly in those moments. ~Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Consciously Choosing

What would it feel like to give up attempting to gain control and just surrender? It might appear to be completely in the present, feeling the sensations of the moment, and being interested in it. It may appear like you are accepting what is.

You stop yourself from trying to exert control. And you unwind. You don’t try to influence events and simply be yourself. Your attention is in tune with the person in front of you. You pay attention to your feelings and notice the current sensations in your body and around you.

Feeling the uncertainty of the moment, you let it in.  You observe it with an open mind, curiosity, and to see what you can learn from it. You start to appreciate the present moment you are in. If you stop trying to control it, change it, or make it fit your idea of how things should be, there is something incredibly exceptional about the moment you are in. It deserves your respect, thanks, and love, just as it is.

If you’re open to it, you can fall in love with the moment just as it is. All of this and more is surrender. It embodies transparency, total presence, awareness of what is occurring, inquiry, and a great deal of gratitude. Furthermore, it consumes significantly less energy than control.

When total surrender happens, suffering is removed, duality is removed, too. ~ Mohanji

The Practice Of Surrender

I’m not suggesting that you relinquish total control over every aspect of your life. This obviously has the potential to wreck your finances, relationships, job, vitality, and more. But rather than grabbing for control, try practicing surrender with whatever is on the horizon. And perhaps to accept things as they are.

For instance, I might experience some anxiety because I think my health is getting out of hand. I would like to get everything under control, so I start a diet and an exercise routine. Now, these are good things, but you know that a strategy built on fear frequently fails.

Although I still take action, surrendering simply means that I accept things as they are while still bringing a loving intention to the situation. How can I operate from a position of love and accept things as they are? Being transformed by coming from a position of love rather than fear.

The present is also changed, even if I never perform that loving action in the future. If I embrace what is rather than trying to hold on to the illusion of control, this moment will be quite different for me.

You need to trust. To surrender. To ask for guidance. Go within for the answer. They’re within you. You have the answers. All you need to do is ask. ~ Karen Hackel

Practical Ways To Surrender

You should stop trying to control things once you notice it. Drop inside your body and realize the fear, doubt, and anxiety that is driving your desire for control. Keep focusing on the energy of uncertainty that is physically present in your body and making you reach for control. Allow yourself to feel it fully while you remain present. Unwind and give in to it.

If you open up and pay attention, you can see how great this moment is and allow yourself to be open to the rest of it. As if you’ve seen nothing before, observe it with fresh eyes. Bring awe and curiosity to this fresh way of looking at things.

Allow yourself to be in a state of openness. Rather than trying to control or predict what will happen, you can find comfort in the uncertainty of this very moment and the ever-changing beauty of the surrounding environment. Amid this openness, how can you love both yourself and everyone and everything around you? Can you adore this current moment?

In this circumstance, what loving intention can you give yourself? What would be the next step to take if you approached it from a position of love rather than fear?

You live in a wonderful world if only you could see the magic of it. The way to do that is to surrender.

Surrender is a journey from outer turmoil to inner peace. ~ Sri Chinmoy

Moving Forward Surrendering To What Is

The actual moment of surrender is simple; it takes place when it’s ready. You’re carried away when control is lost. Amazingly, when surrender does come, it’s always accompanied by a strong feeling of ease, relief, and serenity.

You stop fighting when you surrender, but not in the way you may expect. Then you don’t give up on the circumstance; instead, you give up on the idea you can manage it.  You abandon the idea you can alter reality.

When you give up, you release the effects of your choices. Amazingly, you are given access to the current moment in a new and different way.  When nothing you do or say is focused on influencing the future, you can enter the present moment exactly as it is. Giving up control over how your activities turn out enables you to focus on how you are right now, what is truly happening, and how life is. Life has surprises and the harmonies are revealed.

Surrender is a wonderful gift. When you allow yourself to feel the river of life guiding you and leading you where you need to go, even though you are unsure of its destination. You frequently lack faith in anything’s ability to look after, support, or guide you. That is what makes surrender so difficult for the ego.

Although you cannot achieve surrender with your mind, you can invite it into your life. After experiencing surrender, you may then unwind, have faith, and be certain that it’s okay to let go.

Don’t despair: despair suggests you are in total control and know what is coming. You don’t – surrender to events with hope. ~ Alain de Botton

Do you need help to better understand the principle of surrender?              Are you looking for a way to quit struggling against what is? Do you want to have some peace in your life? If so, please reach out to me at TerriKozlowski.com and we can create a plan for you to lean into surrendering and live a peaceful life.

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It's Vital To Surrender To What Is To Live A Peaceful Life

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When you understand the principle of surrender and apply it to your life, you begin to see the peaceful life you wanted exists,

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Terri Kozlowski

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Kozmic Soul Solutions LLC

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