You’ve been told that patience is a virtue, but what does that mean? According to Webster, a patient person can wait for a long time without becoming annoyed or upset.   They can also deal with problems or troublesome people or give attention to something for a long time without losing interest. So, you are virtuous when you can take the time to deal with life without getting upset.   

So how do patience and compassion go together?  Well, when you are dealing with others, being compassionate also means you’re patient with them.  It’s about taking the time necessary to actively listen to them to understand what they are trying to convey to you. Patience is about time. You’re enduring with empathy their way of explaining their point of view. Being patient is the tolerance you give someone for being their unique selves, even if you disagree or are offended. 

Relationships require time and stamina from each person for the authentic connection to thrive. Your fortitude to work continually to improve your bonds with others is how your patience is a compassionate act.

The more patient we are, the more understanding we become. ~ William Arthur Ward

Everyday Patience

Each day, a barrage of things takes your time and attention. And when someone is telling the same story, you’ve heard too many times, or your boss gives you more details than you need, you can get frustrated. But have you considered that these mundane, ordinary, or annoying moments are just about being fully present with the other person? 

The do to list is never-ending, is it not? Each day more things get added, but the time you give to another is precious.  It shows you care, and you’re responding to the other from a place of love.  Having a heartfelt moment with another is priceless. It will have more impact than completing another task in the long run. 

To be fully present with another requires a conscious choice to put aside what you think you want to do with that time. And instead, take a breath and give the person your undivided attention. Then, when you take that period to be with another when the moment has passed, you’ll realize your time was well spent, and your relationship with be enhanced.  

Time is a gift you can give to another. And patience is your ability not to lose interest in the other person while they share with you.  This willingness to share your time is everyday compassion in action.  

Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. ~ Jean-Jacques Rousseau

You Have No Enemies

How are you supposed to be patient with those who don’t like you or are upset with you?  First of all, why do you think someone doesn’t like you? Have they told you, or are you assuming something? Second, if you upset someone, find out what happened and, if needed, apologize because I’m sure it wasn’t intentional on your part. So you have now determined that most people don’t dislike you, and if they are upset with you, you can correct the issue.  Therefore, you have no enemies, right?

Now, that doesn’t mean there aren’t people you’d rather not be around but stop interpreting other’s actions as hostile towards you. Don’t allow the egoic mind to infer anything because neither you nor your ego can read the other’s mind. In its place, try to change your perspective to a positive one.

So that person you told a hundred times not to do something did it again because they were trying to help. So instead, take a deep breath and try to see how what they did could be beneficial. You know they didn’t take action purposely to frustrate you, so why allow the situation to steal your peace and disrupt your day?

Here is where you offer the person your compassion through patience as an alternative to your former reactions.  Now you can pause and respond from a place of love. Maybe through loving-kindness, the person will be able to learn and change their behavior.

If you have patience, then you’ll also have love. Patience leads to love. ~ Mata Amritanandamayi

Benefits Of Patience

When you’re not patient, what happens?  You become angry, frustrated, and annoyed. Your body has a physical reaction to higher blood pressure, stress-related hormones increase, and muscle tension.  And when you feel all this negativity, you pass it on to others.  So learning to have more patience will allow you to have more peace and joy in your life, which you can pass on to those you share your life. It also provides you with less stress and better mental well-being.

Since you have relationships with others, they see your patience as a loving act of kindness. In addition, the people in your life see you as more collaborative, empathic, and more likely to forgive. These factors allow patient people to have better relationships and more friends because they see past the flaws in others.

On a societal level, patience allows for long-term planning and cooperation. Patient people tend to vote and will wait for new and better policies. They understand that immediate gratification or compensation may not be the best course of action from a global perspective. 

It’s through patience that you achieve your goals.  Not everything in life is given to you without you having to grow.  You have to be willing to take each step to accomplish anything of value.

Patience has endless benefits. It allows peace, joy, and success to be more consistent in your life.

Patience is the road to wisdom. ~ Kao Kalia Yang

How To Make Patience A Habit

Awareness is the first step to rid yourself of feeling impatient.  You know some of your triggers so that you can prepare in advance.  This mindfulness could be difficult because when you feel frustrated, your egoic mind is running the show.  So when you feel annoyed, pause and take a deep breath. Then, in this aggravated moment, recognize how you feel.  When you become aware, you can consciously choose another feeling. 

Then you want to reframe the situation.  This reframing means looking at the circumstances and what expectations you had of it before you became impatient. For example, is someone not responding as you wanted, an unforeseen problem arose, or are you not allowing yourself enough time to learn a new skill? When you are conscious about the condition, you can reframe it to understand without frustration and move forward with a plan of action. 

Finally, practice gratitude.  When you can look at any irritating situation and see the positive through the reframing exercise, you can be grateful for the circumstances.  When you can do this, patience takes hold because you allow the necessary time for the conditions to improve. Therefore, the delaying of gratification is a sign of growth. 

Everyone experiences frustration, but practicing patience will make life more enjoyable and favorable for you and those in your life.

Patience is the calm acceptance that things can happen in a different order than the one you have in your mind. ~ David G. Allen

No Impatience With Yourself

The hardest part of learning to be patient is compassion for yourself. You allow negative self-talk to emerge out of old habits, but you need to stop your disbelief. It’s an act of self-love when you can give yourself the time you need to grow or learn a known skill.

• Whatever state you find your body in, it took time to get it into its current condition. So if you want to alter it, time is necessary. 

• Your egoic mind works to keep you aware of its preconceived hurt. It took decades for you to know it’s been lying to you.  So why do you think that since you’re mindful that it will change overnight?

Through time, you got to this place in your life, and it will take time for you to alter it so you can live the life of your dreams. So you must learn to practice being patient with yourself.

Getting and staying angry at yourself is a waste of precious time. Unfortunately, when you lose patience with yourself, you lose the current battle instead of looking forward and creating an action plan to move towards your dreams.

Be patient with yourself. Self-growth is tender; it’s holy ground. There’s no greater investment. ~ Stephen Covey

Moving Forward Patiently

Patience is a virtue.  It’s the best solution to every sticky situation you find yourself.  Being able to wait and yet be positive-minded and grateful shows others and yourself the best way to deal with the circumstances you don’t like.

Being patient with yourself and others allows you to be resilient and persistent.  This flexibility will enable you to quickly reframe and pivot, so the dream you have doesn’t die.

Compassion for others comes through your patience to be present with them instead of getting frustrated.  It’s about looking into one another’s hearts to understand their perspective and choosing to love them just as they are.  Or you’re responding from a place of love, so they feel accepted. 

Through patience, you are compassionate, and when you respond with love in all things, nothing is impossible.

Patience is not sitting and waiting. It is foreseeing. It is looking at the thorn and seeing the rose, looking at the night and seeing the day. Lovers are patient and know that the moon needs time to become full. ~ Rumi

Do you need to learn how to increase your patience with others or yourself?  Do you need help to overcome the negative mindsets you have? If so, please reach out to me at TerriKozlowski.com, and we can put together an action plan for you to create the life you desire.

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Article Name

Actually, Through Your Patience With Others You Show Them Compassion

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The virtue of patience is the ability to give another your time with love instead of frustration. It's a way for you to be compassionate.

Author

Terri Kozlowski

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Kozmic Soul Solutions LLC

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