It’s wonderful to remember emotional memories of passionate, unadulterated love, accomplishment, or delight experienced at a momentous occasion. You may reflect on the past in your daydreams to recreate a pleasurable memory. Or it can bring back memories of the heat of rage or the agony of loss. It might be joyful or painful when a specific stimulus—a circumstance, an event, a person, or a thought—activates an emotional memory. For instance, a particular day could bring back painful memories. So as that day approaches, memories of the loss frequently become present in your mind.

Anything related to your senses could serve as a cue to trigger emotional memories. For instance, while at a German restaurant, I recalled fond memories of the Kris-Kringle Mart I visited when I was a child. In essence, the smell triggered sensory memories and images in my brain that grabbed me. I also suspect that the aroma activated memories that ordinarily rest comfortably in the recesses of my psyche. This is because the brain can instantly scan an extraordinary number of emotional memories.

Although you can know what triggers emotional memories and the meanings you give to them, you cannot erase memories. And you can change how you’re currently responding to them. Your memories have a purpose, so you can’t truly pick which ones you want to keep. In addition, all of your memories are crucial to who you have become. Even the painful ones can teach you wonderful things.

A memory without an emotional charge is called wisdom. Joe Dispenza

How Do Memory Triggers Work?

Memory’s three fundamental operations are encoding, storing, and retrieving. You learn information by encoding it. The knowledge is then either stored in long-term memory or short-term memory in your brain. While short-term memories are short-lived in the brain, some of them get transferred to your long-term memory, which has unlimited storage. The process of retrieval involves calling up memories. Even if you’d prefer not to recall something, the sights and sounds in your environment can cause your brain to retrieve a long-term memory.

Your brain is more likely to remember information associated with intense emotions than routine facts, which you forget. For instance, much research showed that subjects were better able to recall information associated with either good or negative emotions than neutral information. Processing the emotions associated with memory has more to do with forgetting it. Many methods for forgetting a terrible memory involve progressively separating the memories from the unfavorable emotions that gave rise to it.

For years, scientists have been looking for strategies to aid those who deliberately forget. While it’s unlikely that you will erase undesirable memories from your brain, you can take steps to stop the memory from interfering with your life, such as identifying the memory, dealing with your emotions, and learning your memory triggers.

Memory is a record of your personal experience. It is a record of trial and error, defeat, and success. Past failures will warn you against repeating them. Wilfred Peterson

Focus On The Present

It’s crucial to understand when you’re in recall mode versus accessing feelings about the present moment. This helps to prevent unpleasant memory triggers from causing issues. When your internal distress is out of proportion to the event, the explanation is that you’re in recall mode. Your recollection of being hurt in the past and feeling helpless to react since caused the strength of your emotions in the present.

Charged memories frequently come to mind when memory and the present circumstances are comparable. But don’t allow them to control how you feel or function as an emotionally stable adult. You understand that not getting an invitation to a party doesn’t imply you’re unpopular or unloved; rather, it just means that not everyone gets asked to do everything. You want to know as an adult that it’s inappropriate for your boss to yell at you, that you may have done little to nothing wrong, that his opinion has no bearing on your worth, and that you have options in how you respond.

Create a list of your painful memories from childhood to stop memory triggers, such as being shamed, abandoned, neglected, unfairly compared to others, fiercely competed with, ignored, teased, undermined, invalidated, feeling unheard or invisible, frequently being forced to do things against your will, being manipulated, etc. Recognize that analogous modern circumstances may bring up these memories. By recognizing these memory triggers, you can foresee their explosion and mark them as irrelevant to the present moment.

Past and future are in the mind only–I am now. Nisargadatta Maharaj

Lost Sense Of Reality

If you’re not using problem-solving techniques to deal with a current circumstance, it’s one sign you’ve lost your sense of reality. You feel helpless and victimized—which, as an adult, you’re not—because you’re overwhelmed by emotions rather than with common reason and empowerment. Being unable to focus on the present and coming up with solutions is draining. You’re considering what you can do right away, such as what it truly means in your present life to be declined an invitation to a certain party or how to handle worries about how your boss is treating you. You will feel strong, overwhelming emotions and a victimizing feeling if you are in a memory trigger. However, feeling in control, having clear thinking, and taking initiative characterizes being in reality.

Do not blame yourself for giving in to triggers. It happens naturally. Instead, concentrate on understanding what circumstances cause this to occur and how to recognize when you have lost touch with the present. The first step to returning to reality is realizing that you are acting on an event that took place in the past.

Some people experience memory fading. However, if you suffer from trauma or anxiety, you could feel you’re continuously reliving memories from the past that you’d prefer to forget. Some people may find the sudden recurrence of particular memories to be extremely unsettling or even crippling.

There is no way I can just erase those memories. That would be the same as erasing my own self. Haruki Murakami

Tips to Fade a Memory Trigger

There are actions you can take to decrease the emotional impact and intrusiveness of a memory. Keep in mind that it takes time and practice to do so.

• Determine the memory. It may seem strange, but to forget something, you need to first recall it. What images, sounds, and sensations are associated with a particular memory?
• Organize your feelings. Allow yourself to feel any negative emotions associated with the memories rather than attempting to suppress them. To discover strategies to deal with challenging emotions, you might also try working with a coach like myself.
• Discover the memory-triggering factors. Perhaps your mind remembers your breakup whenever you see the model of the car your ex drove. Or perhaps the fragrance of chicken soup makes you think of your grandmother, and you’re overcome with flashbacks to her death. Make a note of the situations or people that bring up memory triggers for you.
• Consider replacing the memory. For instance, instead of dwelling on the breakup when you see the type of car your ex-partner drove, consider remembering a time you traveled to the beach in that vehicle. You can eventually train your brain to swap out the unwanted memory for the new one.
• Maintain a fit lifestyle. Unwanted memories can come back when you’re stressed or sleep-deprived. Exercise, eat a healthy diet, and get enough sleep. Maintain a healthy lifestyle to improve your mental and emotional well-being. Being mindful might assist you in keeping your thoughts in the present.

Memory and identity are burdens from the past, preventing us from living freely in the present. Naval Ravikant

Coping With Unwanted Memory Triggers

Here are five ways I’ve helped lessen the impact of memory triggers.

1. When dealing with a memory, exposure can be helpful. To gradually and repeatedly expose oneself to the thing you dread is the goal of exposure therapy. For instance, if you recall getting bit by a dog when you were young, you might have grown to fear dogs. You can progressively get over the memory that caused your phobia of dogs by exposing yourself to them in a safe and regulated way.

• To lessen the unpleasant effects of memories, try practicing relaxation techniques. Deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, meditation, and guided imagery are a few examples of such methods. You can develop new techniques for calming yourself in response to memory triggers by combining these strategies with gradually exposing yourself to similar situations.

• Be alert when memories resurface. Being mindful is putting all of your attention in the present without thinking about the past or the future. Try directing your focus on anything in the present, such as a sound or fragrance, rather than allowing yourself to become lost in the memory. By focusing on the present, you can divert your attention from the memory and lessen the emotional impact it has on you.

• Perfectionism occasionally heightens the agony of memories. You can find it challenging to move forward if you feel you have to be perfect. Try making mistakes and doing things incorrectly on purpose. If you are actively looking for opportunities to embarrass yourself, those experiences will eventually taste different in your memory. Remind yourself that now is the time to accept yourself as you authentically are, rather than waiting until you’re perfect at everything. Self-acceptance exercises might lessen the impact of those memories.

• You might also have a few mantras you repeat to yourself during flashbacks, such as “that event does not define me.” It’s helpful to remind yourself that your negative experiences don’t define who you authentically are today. Avoid using harmful techniques to block out unpleasant memories, such as abusing drugs or alcohol.

The past does not have to be your prison. You have a voice in your destiny. You have a say in your life. You have a choice in the path you take. Max Lucado.

Moving Forward With Fewer Memory Triggers

Those things that you want to forget are what the egoic mind fixates upon. But the ego tells you that these events of the past are indications of the future. But it’s a lie. Each time your brain remembers the past, it’s processing like a computer.  The data has to be disassembled from long-term memory and reassembled in your present mind, and re-categorized with the new data it’s collecting from the present moment.

All your memories, both positive and negative, are what make you who you authentically are. These recollections help you grow and learn if you consciously choose to look for the lesson in each experience.

No one can alter the past. However, your future is still determined by the current decisions and choices you are making. If you want a happier, more peaceful life moving forward, you need to respond to the present differently. Hope lies in the bold actions you take today. You may understand the present by looking at the past, but you have to move forward to live the life that you love.

Loss brings pain. Yes. But pain triggers memory. And memory is a kind of new birth within each of us. And it is that new birth after long pain, that resurrection – in memory – that, to our surprise, perhaps, comforts us. – Sue Mille

Do you need help identifying the memory triggers that are holding you back? Are you looking for support to empower yourself to overcome the negative reactions you’re having? Do you want a strategy to help you create an extraordinary life? Consider using my coaching services by contacting me at TerriKozlowski.com. Together, we can create an action plan for you to overcome memory triggers and help you on your healing journey.

To discover how I learned to deal with memory triggers, you can do so by reading my book, Raven Transcending Fear, available on Amazon, or by visiting RavenTranscendingFear.com.

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Article Name

Trauma Triggers Take Time To Overcome, But You Have The Power To Do So

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Traumatic memories control the ego. Learn how to empower yourself to overcome trauma triggers so the past doesn't affect you negatively now.

Author

Terri Kozlowski

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Kozmic Soul Solutions LLC

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