Terri Kozlowski
Always Moving Forward
Always Moving Forward
Have you ever noticed how certain people always seem to have such grace and poise?
They are the ones who can manage challenging individuals with ease, maintain composure under duress, and always appear to know exactly what to say or do. Let me assure you, it isn’t because they are inherently intelligent or born with a unique DNA.
No, it’s because they’ve formed specific routines that enable them to handle every situation life throws at them with elegance and composure. These behaviors have nothing to do with trying to impress people or appear sophisticated. They have to do with character traits like humility, respect, and integrity.
Audrey Hepburn, Jacqueline Kennedy, and Fred Astaire exuded poise. You, too, can have it. By definition, poise is a steady, stable, and self-assured demeanor. It’s typically expressed through a person’s mannerisms, and it might determine whether you are a respected leader.
Poise is being aware of your environment and possessing adaptability and flexibility. Poise is not a trait you can gain quickly or something you are born with. You have to put it into practice every day.
Remember that poise and power are inseparably associated. The calm and balanced mind is the strong and great mind; the hurried and agitated mind is the weak one. ~ Wallace D. Wattles
A state of graceful equilibrium, assurance, and composure is called poise. It includes both mental and physical components and reflects a person’s capacity to uphold grace and dignity in their relationships, mannerisms, and gestures.
Poise is a well-balanced combination of self-assurance, calmness, and grace. Poise manifests itself physically in gestures, body language, and posture. It entails maintaining a straight spine, calm shoulders, and a composed head held high while standing tall. Intentional and fluid motions also enhanced a poised presence, such as sitting and walking with elegance.
In the mind, poise is defined as maintaining composure and calmness under pressure. It entails remaining calm within, engaging in mindfulness exercises, and handling situations with poise and composure. People who are poised can maintain composure, consider their words before speaking, and communicate effectively.
Poise transcends superficiality and is not limited to outward appearance or social graces. It conveys an inward assurance and self-awareness. People with poise embrace their individuality, exude genuineness, and seem at ease in their own skin. They have an effortless grace about them that draws people in and makes an impression.
Most people think of poise as calm, self-assured dignity; but I call it “just being you”. ~ John Wooden
In the end, poise is a skill that can be developed and honed. Through self-awareness exercises, posture refinement, relaxation techniques, and attention to both spoken and nonverbal cues, people can project a more refined and endearing demeanor. Here are some techniques for developing poise.
When meeting someone new, first impressions matter. Even if you don’t feel confident, project confidence and stand erect. Maintain eye contact, extend a warm greeting, and give a firm handshake. Make sure to always use your first and last name while introducing yourself. Don’t worry if you can’t remember someone’s name. Simply say, “It’s been one of those days; could you please tell me your name again?”
Consider the impact of your actions on other people and educate yourself on appropriate dining and socializing manners. Whether you are taking a coworker to lunch, networking in a packed room, closing a transaction, or just mingling with friends, people notice your manners.
When addressing a group, speak at a reasonable tempo while maintaining a steady volume; avoid pausing between words; and maintain eye contact with everyone in the room. Be mindful of your language and not use filler words like “um” or “like.” Always consider your words before speaking, and pick your words wisely. It might not always be easy, but practice patience and resist the need to complete other people’s statements.
Learn to listen actively with consideration as you speak with others. Listen intently and offer clarifying questions, demonstrating a sincere interest in what the other person has to say, as opposed to talking over or interrupting. Be polite and open-minded to others by trying to comprehend their viewpoints. People who radiate poise and elegance always know how to listen well and speak with grace and tact, whether they are in a formal setting or having a friendly conversation with a friend.
I used to work with a coworker who was usually anxious and lacked composure. He was quite talented and had an advanced degree, but he couldn’t stay calm, which made all of his coworkers uncomfortable. He frequently overreacted to the slightest things and could not accept change, which led to his resignation.
There will be instances where you disagree with someone or where things don’t go as planned. Make sure you hear what is being stated before drawing any conclusions. Pause and evaluate the situation before reacting. When others falter, a calm leader steps back to see the bigger picture of potential within challenging circumstances. Others feel at ease, protected, and secure around you because of your poise.
Poise: the ability to be ill at ease inconspicuously. ~ Earl Wilson
Great storytellers with extensive knowledge of subjects outside of their own business and sector are the best conversationalists. Become knowledgeable about a wide range of conversational subjects by reading books, periodicals, and trade publications and listening to talk radio shows or podcasts, like Soul Solutions. They watch a range of movie genres, go to sporting and cultural events, and attend workshops.
I once heard from a mentor that “school is never out.” Seize the chance to gain as much knowledge as you can, and you’ll feel more competent and capable of interacting with people in social and professional contexts.
Consider other people and try to assist when needed. People want to help you in return when you help them. That is reciprocity’s rule. Refrain from engaging in office or professional gossip, despite any temptation. Be true to yourself, but resist the need to share all of your feelings on social media. Look for the good in every difficult circumstance. Move on and get over a circumstance, or take action to change it. And always let go of the little things.
One partygoer was acting aggressively and impolitely toward everyone. A coworker gently left the room without expressing anger or making eye contact with the individual. She was an expert at calming heated situations and figuring out amicable methods to settle disputes. This is a crucial behavior for those who are captivating and have composure because it enables them to handle challenging circumstances without being agitated or rattled.
If someone is reciting a not-very-fascinating anecdote during a dinner party, pay attention to what they have to say, and don’t just zone out or check your phone. Be considerate and respectful of everyone, regardless of their standing in society or if you’re interested in what they are saying. For those who radiate poise and composure, this is a crucial habit to have since it upholds both their dignity and that of others.
Without that poise and balance and gentle humor and caring sense, nothing happens at all. ~ Frederick Lenz
It’s easy to become engrossed in the flimsy elements of life, such as your appearance, possessions, and social standing. However, genuine poise and self-respect originate from the inside, from your beliefs, attitudes, and behaviors. It’s crucial to put your attention toward growing your inner world if you want to live a life of grace and dignity.
This entails developing virtues like humility, respect, integrity, and empathy. It entails being aware of your thoughts and deeds and ensuring that they are consistent with your moral principles. Furthermore, it entails having an open mind, wanting to improve, and having the courage to own up to your mistakes.
Even though each of these things might not seem like much on its own, when combined, they all work to make you feel calmer and more composed. And people notice, I assure you. When you remain collected and calm under pressure, they notice. When you treat people with grace and respect, they notice. And when you’re willing to listen and have an open mind, they notice. Thus, if you wish to lead a graceful and dignified life, begin by attending to your inner life. Put effort into cultivating the traits that will enable you to face life with elegance and harmony.
Success is very largely a matter of adjusting one’s self to the ever-varying and changing environments of life, in a spirit of harmony and poise. ~ Napoleon Hill
Be proud of your appearance, actions, and words. Every day, give your best effort to all you set out to accomplish. Think of yourself as being “on stage” whenever you are among customers, staff members, associates, or anyone you conduct business with. People around you will see you more favorably because of your poise.
For attractive lips, speak words of kindness. For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people. To have a slim figure, share your food with the hungry. For beautiful hair, let a child run their fingers through it once a day. For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone. People, more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed. Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms. As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself and the other for helping others. ~ Sam Levenson
Do you need support in keeping your composure despite the circumstances? Do you want a strategy to help you develop your communication skills? If so, please contact me at TerriKozlowski.com, and we can put together an action plan for you to be poised and authentically you.
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