Terri Kozlowski
Always Moving Forward
Always Moving Forward
Do you wish to become your authentic self? Begin by learning how to be courageous. The easiest way to realize your full potential is to live boldly and venture outside of your comfort zone. The problem is that you let your fears impede your success. Alternatively, you may avoid changing your life because of anxiety about the unknown. It’s time to conquer your fears.
Fear is part of the human experience. It’s how the egoic mind keeps you safe from the unknown. However, living in a constant worry about the “what-ifs” can stifle your progress both professionally and personally. So how does fear disguise itself in your life?
Did you see yourself in any of those descriptions? When you’re scared, any movement forward is more difficult because the fear makes you retreat to the safety of your comfort zone.
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear—not absence of fear. ~Mark Twain
When you allow the ego’s fears to keep you from living your best life, what results can you expect? Your personal growth stagnates, which means you aren’t setting goals, your self-confidence suffers, and you feel life doesn’t have meaning or purpose. See, your growth spurts come from conquering your fear, obstacles, and challenges that you come across along your journey.
When you allow fear to become an obstacle in your life, it stifles your personal development. You retreat into your shell rather than improving your mental fitness and maturing. You also avoid new experiences to prevent unpleasant emotions.
Because you’re fearful, avoiding circumstances that push you out of your comfort zone affects your emotional growth. You’re missing out on the opportunity to build strong emotional skills, such as resiliency, self-soothing, emotional intelligence, and self-awareness.
If you don’t work on your emotional development, you’ll be more vulnerable to stressful situations. If you avoid opportunities for emotional growth regularly, you’ll find yourself unable to deal with difficult circumstances in your personal and professional life.
Doing what you’re most fearful of leads to the most significant personal improvement is what psychiatrist Carl Jung believed. Fear becomes an issue when it prevents you from living the life you desire. But you can be courageous and conquer your fears.
Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less. ~Marie Curie
The terms courageous and bravery are frequently used interchangeably, yet they are not synonymous. Fearlessness is a prerequisite for bravery. Being courageous doesn’t imply that you are fearless. It entails taking action despite your fears.
It takes time and experience to learn how to be courageous in the face of fear. Consider it like strengthening a muscle. It can be immensely liberating once you’ve mastered it. Here are twelve ways for you to grow into a more courageous and authentic version of yourself
It comes from within your egoic mind to keep you safe from harm and the unknown. This fear acts as a natural alarm system, warning you of impending danger. However, the ego, which is in charge of this system, can also set off false alarms. You react as if these false alarms are real, and you act as if they are life-threatening. You must recognize that you do not face deadly conditions in your daily life, which the ego is attempting to protect you from.
Fears are educated into us, and can, if we wish, be educated out. ~Karl Augustus Menninger
Pause for a moment. Stopping and taking three deep breaths is a quick and natural technique to ease this fear. You can see your nervousness dissipate by inhaling gently and counting to five, then expelling to another count of five. Studies have found that doing this exercise three times in a row will dramatically relax the mind and kick-start your autotomic nervous system. Try it; the only thing you have to lose is your fear.
You can never cross the ocean unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore. ~Christopher Columbus
Acknowledge your distress and accept what you are feeling. This stops the inner turmoil the angst causes because you aren’t struggling against it. It’s tough to conquer your fears if you can’t be honest with yourself about what you’re afraid of. Being courageous, according to research, means first recognizing one’s strengths and weaknesses, then deciding to work through them. Sometimes just speaking about the concern is enough to dissipate it. Or sharing the worry with a trusted tribe member will help you feel you aren’t alone.
Don’t be afraid of your fears. They’re not there to scare you. They’re there to let you know that something is worth it. ~C. JoyBell C.
Understanding the underlying reasons for your fear is the first step toward confronting it. So, determine what about the situation is disconcerting. Then look for the opportunity to overcome the circumstances. Exposure is by far the most effective treatment for phobias, anxiety disorders, and everyday worries of any kind. For example, if you are afraid of speaking in front of a group, then practicing giving talks in front of your tribe will help you gain the confidence you need to conquer your fear.
You gain strength, courage, and confidence from every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, “I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt
It’s important how you talk to yourself. The inner voice speaking to you can either encourage you to believe in yourself or tear you down to the point of depression.
The egoic voice that admonishes you is the negative self-talk you recognize. Making you feel bad about your life by telling you what “should haves” and “could haves” you missed out on. Your soulful voice is upbeat and always sees the bright side. The heart’s encouraging voice inspires you to take a chance and pursue your goals. You can’t stop talking to yourself, but you can change what you say and what you believe to be true.
I have learned over the years that when one’s mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear. ~Rosa Parks
When you’re uncomfortable, it’s a sign you’re starting a growth process. Discomfort is a feeling of the ego trying to keep you stagnate. Any change in your life signifies the end of an old way and the beginning of a new one. You must accept the completion process. Consider the implications of the change. Contemplate the journey you’ve taken. Because of your new perspective, celebrate who you’re becoming. Being alert and conscious of your entire experience allows you to push through the discomfort of the growth process and emerge better than you imagined. You’re capable of far more than you realize, and you’ll be able to face any future problems. Whether or not you seek it out, personal development will continue. Choose to embrace the process of progress, including the uncomfortable parts.
Fear is the main source of superstition, and one of the main sources of cruelty. To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom. ~Bertrand Russell
Don’t give up once you’ve conquered your fear for the first time. By overcoming your anxieties regularly, you strengthen your fearlessness muscle. Make a list of things that make you nervous and start doing them on a small scale to build your self-confidence. According to Duke University research, habits, not conscious thought, determine nearly 40% of your behavior. As a result, you have the immense ability to change your life by removing habits that no longer serve you, such as being fearful.
One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn’t do. ~Henry Ford
To practice mindfulness in all aspects of your life, you must always be in the present moment. Breathwork and meditation are examples of mindfulness techniques that might help you cope with anxieties and worry. Eckhart Tolle, in his book, The Power of Now, illustrates that fear is entirely a product of the egoic mind. They are sentiments of dread, anxiety, or concern over a made-up situation in the future. You learn to observe these ideas when you practice mindfulness. You also learn not to let them control you and transform your fear into a nightmare.
Action cures fear, inaction creates terror. ~Douglas Horton
When you embrace your missteps, you look for alternatives to overcoming the situation instead of wallowing in self-pity. This is the way to build your resiliency and growth mindset. See, if you are learning when you misstep, then the lesson was vital for your journey. And therefore, you are more willing to try alternatives as you move forward.
Courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “I will try again tomorrow.” ~Mary Anne Radmacher
To conquer your fears, approach everything you do with the mindset of a beginner. Don’t expect certain results. You will eliminate the fear of failure if you learn not to judge an outcome as good or bad. Rather than striving for perfection, set a goal to learn and improve. Remember that your progress in a new direction is important, not necessarily the final product.
Fear comes from uncertainty. When we are absolutely certain, whether, of our worth or worthlessness, we are almost impervious to fear. ~William Congreve
You live a fear-based life because you believe you are unworthy. You avoid the one thing that can make you more courageous, being vulnerable because you are terrified of letting people know who you really are and potentially exposing yourself.
So, what armor have you put on to protect yourself? Procrastination, rationalization, cynicism, control, numbing, perfectionism, or people-pleasing? Whatever the self-defense mechanism you are using, you need to put down the shields so you can make authentic connections with others and conquer your fears.
There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life. ~John Lennon
Learning to be courageous does not imply that you are not afraid. It entails taking action in the face of apprehension. Your life is in your control, and you either spend it living afraid or conquering your fears. When you face one of these anxieties, whether it’s a choice, a prospect, or something else, remember it’s all in your head. You have control over whether you believe the egoic voice or are encouraged by the soulful whispers of your heart. But choosing to be courageous is entirely up to you. So, are you going to take bold action and overcome your fears?
Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit at home and think about it. Go out and get busy. ~Dale Carnegie
Learn to see anxiety as an opportunity rather than a stumbling block. A chance for personal, professional, and emotional development. Fear can lead you to grow in the areas of your life that require the most attention. Small yet significant steps toward developing self-confidence and becoming a fearless person occur by practicing positive self-talk and putting yourself in challenging situations.
To live your best life, you must have the courage to do so. Those of you who commit to discovering, appreciating, and embodying excellence must take risks to change. You must do things that most people do not consider or care about. Conquering your fears is all about doing just that. It’s magical to find your inner strength and overcome.
I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone, there will be nothing. Only I will remain. ~Frank Herbert
As you become more conscious of the fears you have, you can alter the course of your life by conquering them.
Do you need help to make courage a habit? Are you looking for support in taking bold action steps? Do you want a strategy to help you create an extraordinary life? If so, please get in touch with me, and we can put together an action plan for you to conquer your fears and live authentically.
To learn about how I recognized the armor I was wearing to mask my fears, you can do so by reading my book, Raven Transcending Fear, available on Amazon or you can go to RavenTranscendingFear.com for more information.
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