Everything is changing all the time.  Many people think of change negatively.  They believe that there’s something to lose, a way of doing something, nostalgia, or part of themselves.  But it’s neither a positive nor a negative thing.  Change is neutral.  We determine whether it’s good or bad.  It’s a part of life that is ever-evolving around us. 

Written over forty years ago in his book Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes, William Bridges discusses the turmoil and the opportunities that change brings into our lives.  He outlined how one could transition through the change process for easier adjusting because many of us look at change as a barrier that has disrupted our plans. 

Adjusting to change is a process that begins with acceptance.  To accept what the new situation is, we allow for a smoother transition to the current circumstances.  We have to be willing to let go of any fear and be flexible so that we can quickly adapt to what is. 

Change is painful, but nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don’t belong. ~ Mandy Hale

Defining the Change

We need to be specific about the change that is occurring.   Is it one we are consciously choosing to make, or is it something we tried to avoid?  For example, we hate our job and have looked online for other opportunities.  So when we are laid-off, we look at the situation as a sign to move into something we would enjoy.  Or we could look at the same circumstances and feel rejected and unworthy.  The same conditions exist, but we have a different perspective. 

By actually defining what the conditions are, we can see a point of view that is neutral.  We had a job we hated, and now we don’t.  Taking a step back to see the bigger picture is how we look at change as a neutral set of circumstances.  Only when we can see the neutrality can we deal with the emotions the situation stirred within us.  All change causes emotional unrest within us.  We’re happy that we no longer have to work at a job we hate.  But, we’re fearful because now we don’t have an income. 

Once we feel the emotions, we are then able to put them aside and look at the circumstances with clarity.  It’s a release of the old so we can embrace the new.  Look at what is the same as a grounding point for the change.  This clarity allows us to evaluate the situation, giving us a balancing point. Hence, we plan our next steps to move forward once we become fully aware. 

If you can’t change it, change your attitude. ~ Maya Angelou

What will be Different with the Change?

Once we’ve defined what the change is and can view the situation with clarity, we can look at the possible ways things will be different.  This process looks at the potential effects the new circumstances will have on our lives.   By evaluating the likely outcomes, we lessen the fear the ego has of the unknown.  This egoic fear keeps us from seeing the genuine opportunity that change presents. 

The evaluation process includes looking at possible prospects and problems that the new circumstance may bring.  During this time, there may be confusion as we grapple with trying to understand what has occurred.  We might feel uncertainty about what our next move should be, but we need to gather information so we can see the lay of the land. 

Here is where you can see the growth mindset at work as it looks for the lesson that is to be learned for this change.  It’s assessing the positive as well as the adverse outcomes from the new circumstances.  Get other perspectives on the situation from those you trust to confirm your viewpoint or to see what you may have overlooked. 

Knowing how the change is affecting the present will help you move forward.

The truth is unless you let go unless you forgive yourself unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward. ~ Steve Maraboli

Working Through the Transition

Transition is a process to help us move through change.  We can ease through it, or we can make it more difficult for ourselves based on our attitude.  If we are unaccepting of the change and fight it, we end up taking more time then necessary to move past it.  But if we embrace the new situation, we can work through it more easily. 

If we were able to see a lesson in the new circumstances with our growth mindset, we tend to get excited about the movement forward.  Transition is the ability of the mind to adapt to the current conditions despite the change.  This adaptation takes time, depending on the situation.  We need to allow our egoic mind to acclimate to the new environment so that the transition is smooth. 

The growth mindset is a great tool to utilize during this process.  Looking for the lesson to be learned, researching different methods to move forward, and making authentic, loving connections with others to help us transition.  Take some self-care time so that your self-esteem doesn’t hear any negative self-talk about your part in the change.  Strength is needed to move through the adaptation to the new circumstances.

You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.  ~ Buckminster Fuller

Moving Forward

With every change, there is an ending and a beginning. A time to let go and a time to embrace.  Transition helps us see the purpose of the circumstances we now face.  Nurture this new beginning.  Visualize how you want to move forward into a better life.  This way, you can start to plan and take steps towards the new goals. 

New beginnings are exciting but can be a little scary too.  Focus on the excitement. Don’t let the ego emphasize the unknown. 

It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad. ~ C. S. Lewis

As you become more conscious of how you struggle with a change, you can learn to ease the transition.  If you would like to receive more informative and mindful articles right into your mailbox, fill this out. 

Do you need support to help you transition into new circumstances?  Do you want a strategy to help you overcome the ego’s limiting beliefs and live a successful life? If so, please, contact me, and we can put together an action plan for you to create the life you desire.

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Change is Neutral and Needs to be Accepted

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Change is always happening. Despite how you feel about change, it's neutral. To ease your transition through the change, you must accept it.

Author

Terri Kozlowski

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Kozmic Soul Solutions LLC

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